A Letter to My Family – Day Twelve of NaPoWriMo

Dearest blood
this comes to you
through digital voices
What happened to yesterday?

Dearest fountainhead
your betrayal
ushered my existence,
for thirty-seven years
did you

Dearest Haystack
grateful I am
for you
raised me
through Ignorance, Racism, and Hatred.

Grateful I am
the same blood
we share not.

To my true pedigree
those along my side
these many years
who spread doubt
with their
abominate affections
dismal attempts
at interest,
may the love
I hungered for
what felt like a millennium
be your
eternal undoing.

To the lineage
I may never know
I am sure my father
was a beautiful creation
through my eyes
my life
I see him

To her
who spawned me
how dare you
forbid the half sibling search.
You have no right.
You lost those
that fateful night.

How dare you all.
I was just a child.
A twinkle in
eternities eye.

The only sure thing
those many moons ago
I was a twisted soul
female intellect and spirit
a testosterone fueled
meat suit with nuts.

Blind you all were
to my torture, my pain.
Become hetro
become your perspective
I tried.

Addictions and death
is all it has brought.

the problem begs examination
once again
why did she lie?
why did they doubt?
why did they scar?

dearest family,
blood and otherwise
need your approval
I do not.
need your love
after your deceptions
I think not.
need your support
after my own
personal enslavement
yeah right.

In closing
depart now
forever releasing me
from your
blatant disregard
for my heart
my mind
my soul
my life.

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