Bubble Bath Memories


relaxing in the tub the other night, images of yesterday began flowing from each speck of sud as it burst with relaxation. It was exhilarating, in the moment, the many memories that coursed through my mind. They began to play out on the pink tile surrounding the tub. The door open suddenly with each day that has transpired in this, once happy, home. Sitting there I realized how many baths I have taken in this aging tub. I realized the days that have transpired, all that has taken place, in just these four walls. This has been a place of solitude and safety. I would come here to escape the pressures and people of the moment. It is here that I am able to completely be myself. All walls are down, all mask are put away, all demons are locked away, all fears are banished, and all doubt is erased. I am safe and free in this moment of bubble bath memories.

Interview and Microsoft Office


Finally I have a copy of Microsoft Office so I can type my book up and have it all ready for publishing by July 30th. Words can not describe the gratitude I have for our new Neighbors, Jana and Angela. They have been such a blessing to us. During these trying times. I know you say rough living under a parent’s Roof. However, anyone who has lived under a parents rule(financially and household) especially after 35, can admit it is torture; add to the mix your spouse and you have yourself a recipe for a personal apocalypse. So this software will change everything. Jana and Ang, you have no idea what doors you just opened for me and my husband. Thank you; and guess what readers, THE BOOK IS COMING.

Another big event of the day I have an interview tomorrow, 1:30pm, at Chicken and the Egg in Marietta, Georgia. I am super excited. I hope Elizabeth and Chef Taft (the Owners) see my heart of service and my passion for food. Lift me up in your thoughts fans, followers, and the curious alike. I can use all the positive energy I can get tomorrow from 1pm to 2pm.

Again, A BIG Thank you to everyone for finding little old me interesting. It is a pleasure to see at least one, let alone 17, views a day. With this blog, my up coming books, the scripts I am working, and my poetry my end game is to not only to heal, but offer a comfortable life for my husband and our future family and most importantly hopefully help others.

Sonja Lee and Tammy Lee, Daughter’s of J.C. Lee- Marietta, GA.


To all my loyal readers and followers, PLEASE, I beg of you, reblog this post, get your readers and followers to do the same, PLEASE! I am desperate.

I am looking for my half sisters, Sonja and Tammy Lee. Their Father is J.C.Lee and their Mother is Billy Gene(Spelling could be wrong). Sonja and Tammy would have been in the early teens when I was a year old; I am now 37.  I remember that our families went to the same church Wilson Memorial and that they were my babysitters on occasion. I do not believe they know I am their half brother. I really need to find them. I need to know about my father. PLEASE, if you know of either of these women get in touch with me.

My mother had informed me at a very low point in my existence, age twenty-seven, that she in fact had an affair with a man she had known since age fourteen and hid it from everyone, even her husband, my dad, and I was the product of that affair. So fast forward a couple of years. I was working on healing myself and caring for my dad, Richard, who had injured himself while he, reluctantly, and my mom were volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. While he was recovering, finally he had stopped smoking after 40+ years due to his time in the hospital, he began spending a great deal of time on the internet. he met someone. One morning, I awoke to him on the phone with someone, I could tell it was not his sister nor my mother, so I got up. I proceeded to go outside. So I walked to the breakfast room, so I could eavesdrop on him. I heard him end the call with “I Love You.” Now you must understand I had not heard my dad say I love you in years, nor had I heard him say it to my mother or his family in years. So when he came in I asked him who he was saying I love you to and he could not give me an answer. So I asked him why he could say it to someone he had not even met face to face but he could not say it to me, no answer again. So I blurted out, You are not my father. Mom told me the truth about my conception and you are not my biological dad. It was not long for he and my mother divorced; and he has nothing to do with me. I have written him and tried to connect on Facebook. But, to this day he has nothing to do with me or my mother. Makes me very sad to look at Family photo albums.
 
Then there is my biological dad, whom I have not had, nor will I be able to for is no longer on this earth, the pleasure of meeting. His name is J.C. Lee, that is all I have. I know he had two teenage daughters when I was one, which makes them in their fifties now. I know his wife at the time was Billy Gene and I know they attended the same church my parents did at the time, Wilson Memorial. But that is all I have;  and this picture.

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Thank you for taking the time to experience my journey. Also if you are re-blogging, thank you so very much; it means the world to me that you took time to share my story. 
 
Poem of the Moment: 
 
Quirky day, 
 
with video games in the background, 
 
gold membership finally achieved 
 
thanks to Bing 
 
and 
 
a perpetual silver haze, 
 
there seems  a similarity 
 
 in this traveled maze. 
 
It is strange,  
 
with a big, bright, full 
 
orange moon 
 
eleven eleven comes around  
 
once again. 
 
The ghost of Papa lingers 
 
as his cologne wakes me 
 
with each new day. 
 
Could it be this quaky day 
 
life has finally ceased. 
 
Is this  
 
finally 
 
my hell. 
 
Payment  
 
for squandering  
 
the beautiful gift 
 
of life and empathy. 
 
This has to be it 
 
no question. 
 
Is this the days 
 
intention  
 
to show me that 
 
I no longer exist? 
 
No need 
 
 As I fade 
 
away.

Frightened, upon Reflection, of What Is to Come


Greetings, 
 
Trying to keep up with the household chores (i.e. laundry, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, cooking, and yard work), looking for a job, doing the grocery shopping, caring for my husband, my mother, and worrying about how I am going to provide financially for the two of them in a pinch has proven to take its toll on my already weakened presence. Throw on top of it the need to full fill my goal to publish my life story and the overwhelming urgency to find my half-sisters so I may learn of our Father, my mental state is a blessing right now. Especially, considering how I handled situations in the past, it is a miracle that I am able to write this blog today. 
 
I see good stories through the multitude of media outlets; I also see a great number of heart wrenching stories. I have experienced goodness in humanity; I also have experienced, more than I would like, the selfishness and Hate in Humanity.  

I am at a pinnacle stage in my life, I believe. Upon reflection I am at the very age, I prophesied as a young child, when a great power within me would be released and exposed to the world. Big words for a naive young person. 

I sit here, trying to organize my thoughts so I may utilize the knowledge I have of the internet in order to gain some financial stability. Seeing as searching for employment via the internet as proved useless, I am left wondering do I do amateur porn. Now I will admit that I have dabbled, but I have not made any significant profit from it. Not really my forte’.  
 
I know and feel it so deeply that my story, my life, is the key to my success. Sharing it to the world and admittedly making a profit from it,is the key to my success. My life is my success.  

In closing, after reflection of my past and my fear of success I am undoubtablly Frightened of tomorrow and what it holds. Considering my husband’s health looms daily, with the grim reaper always in the shadows; my mother’s health is frightening in itself; and no employment.

Frightened just does not describe how I feel.

Father’s Day, Happy to Some, Empty to Me!


 First, let me say Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there; biological or not.
 
My father Richard, who for thirty years of my life was, in all respects, a great provider, on occasion my defender,and a constant supporter of my education and self discovery. However, upon discovering that I was not his biological child, all the work and effort he and I both put into bonding as father and child, erased. He bolted. 
 
This is how it went down.
 
My mother had informed me at a very low point in my existence, age twenty seven, that she infact had an affair with a man she had known since age fourteen and hid it from everyone, even her husband, my dad, and I was the product of that affair. So fast forward a couple of years. I was working on healing myself and caring for my dad, Richard, who had injured himself while he, reluctantly, and my mom were volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. While he was recovering, finally he had stopped smoking after 40+ years due to his time in the hospital, he began spending a great deal of time on the internet. he met someone. One morning, I awoke to him on the phone with someone, I could tell it was not his sister nor my mother, so I got up. I proceeded to go outside. So I walked to the breakfast room, so I could evesdrop on him. I heard him end the call with “I Love You.” Now you must understand I had not heard my dad say I love you in years, nor had I heard him say it to my mother or his family in years. So when he came in I asked him who he was saying I love you to and he could not give me an answer. So I asked him why he could say it to someone he had not even met face to face but he could not say it to me, no answer again. So I blurted out, You are not my father. Mom told me the truth about my conception and you are not my biological dad. It was not long for he and my mother divorced; and he has nothing to do with me. I have written him and tried to connect on Facebook. But, to this day he has nothing to do with me or my mother. Makes me very sad to look at Family photo albums.
 
Then there is my biological dad, whom I have not had, nor will I be able to for is no longer on this earth, the pleasure of meeting. His name is J.C. Lee, that is all I have. I know he had two teenage daughters when I was one, which makes them in their fifties now. I know his wife at the time was Billy Gene and I know they attended the same church my parents did at the time, Wilson Memorial. But that is all I have;  and this picture.

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31 Day Blog Challenge Part 6 of 6


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Number 26: An old photo of yourself

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Best one I have on the computer now. 

  
Number 27: Post your favorite recipe 
 
My favorite recipe my faux hamburger helper concoction; and yes I know hamburger helper is inexpensive. 
 
It is a box of mac-n-cheese; any cheap brand will do. 
 
A package of taco seasoning; any will do, cooked with ground beef after drained. 
 
A pound of ground beef; browned and drained. 
 
A can of Black bean; added to ground beef after cooked and drained 
 
A can of corn; added to ground beef after cooked and drained 
 
A diced tomato; added after shredded cheese. 
 
Some shredded cheese 
 
A diced onion: sautéed and added to ground beef. 
 
Absolutely yummy. 
 
  
 
Number 28:What are you looking forward to… 
 
I am looking forward to the day my books, poetry and autobiography, get published. 
  
 
Number 29: Where have you traveled to? 
 
I have traveled to Germany. In that particular trip, we visited Copenhagen, Austria(Salzburg), and Paris.  
 
  
 
Number 30:What is in your make-up bag? 
 
Lots of, old, drag make-up. 
 
  
 
Number 31: Why do you blog? 
 
Why do I  blog? 
 
In the beginning I started blogging, using MySpace, to get my writing out there; by the support and encouragement of my partner. It gradually has become a vehicle for me to continue to expose the world to my writing and my story through WordPress and the Yahoo Contributor Network. I write, so that I can leave a legacy; an impression. It is all I have at the time to express my ideas and opinions; to share my art and my mind to the world; to leave a mark on time, whether felt now or not. Now granted if I ever the opportunity to have a child, that will change. 

Well, this concludes the 31 Day blog Challenge. I hope that you have enjoyed the reading. I feel somewhat exposed, but I have always been an open book, so really it is nothing new to me.  I appreciate you taking the time to read my answers to the challenge.

Love, Light, and Peace.

31 Day Blog Challenge Part 5 of 6


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Number 21:NWhat are your ten favorite foods?

1- Portabella mushroom

2-okra

3-squash

4-celery

5-apple

6-pineapple

7-spinach

8-collard greens

9-almonds

10-cashew nuts

Number 22: What is the best thing to happen so far this year?

The best thing to happen this year so far is that my husband and I met a couple, Angela and Jana. They are our neighbors. New Friends, best thing to happen this year….so far.

Number 23:  What is your dream job?

My dream job…thinking…that is, a difficult question. It would have to be a combination of an award winning poet, Mother/Parent, and acclaimed Pastry Chef.

Number 24: What is your favorite childhood book?

My favorite childhood book would have to be…hmmmm…actually this is a tough one. Having trouble thinking of one…..

Stan and Jan Berenstain, The Berenstain Bears.

Number 25: what are your 5 favorite blogs?

My favorite blogs are as follows: (note,-I like these blogs and have enjoyed some of the content tremendously, however I unfortunately do not get the pleasure of reading them more often than I would like)

1- ululani healing

2– Read Between the Minds

3- I am a heathen

4- Naturally Green Cooking

5- SageDoyle

6- Writings of a Mrs

*also please note that there are many blogs that I enjoy and that I would consider a favorite. But, for the sake of the Challenge, which I already strayed from the guidelines and gave 6 favorites, I need to keep it a short list. Just could not decided on just five.