Frightened, upon Reflection, of What Is to Come


Greetings, 
 
Trying to keep up with the household chores (i.e. laundry, dusting, vacuuming, dishes, cooking, and yard work), looking for a job, doing the grocery shopping, caring for my husband, my mother, and worrying about how I am going to provide financially for the two of them in a pinch has proven to take its toll on my already weakened presence. Throw on top of it the need to full fill my goal to publish my life story and the overwhelming urgency to find my half-sisters so I may learn of our Father, my mental state is a blessing right now. Especially, considering how I handled situations in the past, it is a miracle that I am able to write this blog today. 
 
I see good stories through the multitude of media outlets; I also see a great number of heart wrenching stories. I have experienced goodness in humanity; I also have experienced, more than I would like, the selfishness and Hate in Humanity.  

I am at a pinnacle stage in my life, I believe. Upon reflection I am at the very age, I prophesied as a young child, when a great power within me would be released and exposed to the world. Big words for a naive young person. 

I sit here, trying to organize my thoughts so I may utilize the knowledge I have of the internet in order to gain some financial stability. Seeing as searching for employment via the internet as proved useless, I am left wondering do I do amateur porn. Now I will admit that I have dabbled, but I have not made any significant profit from it. Not really my forte’.  
 
I know and feel it so deeply that my story, my life, is the key to my success. Sharing it to the world and admittedly making a profit from it,is the key to my success. My life is my success.  

In closing, after reflection of my past and my fear of success I am undoubtablly Frightened of tomorrow and what it holds. Considering my husband’s health looms daily, with the grim reaper always in the shadows; my mother’s health is frightening in itself; and no employment.

Frightened just does not describe how I feel.

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