okay. So I went and saw the oncologist today. I have a rare form of lymphoma(non-Hodgkin’s, a hybrid of two other types of lymphoma) that usually is found in men who are HIV+:plasmablastic lymphoma. I have always tested negative, but never have had a blood test for it.
The test, to find out what stage it is and where it is, cost over $30,000 alone. That does not include the chemo, EPOCH, that they want to put me on which would consist of being admitted to the hospital for five days , for 21 months, and have it pumped through me daily for that period. I am sure there are possible programs and assistance I could get, but I have seen people such as myself, with my social and economical standing in the system, and it is not good.
It just is more stress to be added on top of enough stress. The waiting, the wandering if I am approved or accepted, the countless personalities(some I am sure are not to pleasant) and the stress of it all, my poor mother and husband and I can not take anymore stress.
I have decided how ever long I have left I am going to rock out with my blazing light of divine joy and love. I have a purpose to fulfill here on this earth. The writing I have produced thus far, the books I am to publish within this year, and the art I am creating as we speak is meant to inspire someone or someone’s down the road. If I am not to complete my task they may not achieve the greatness they are destined for. I am here to inspire, to educate, to prepare, to enlighten, and to bring such joy to the world.
I will do what the divine light has set me forth on this planet to do. So be it.
diagnosis is in I have plasmablastic lymphoma. It is a rare and aggressive cancer. Thank you God, Divine Universe for this and everything!
Found out last week my grandmothers colon cancer is back and it has spread to her stomach and her lungs. She started a new round of chemo, stronger, Monday; the past two days she has been so sick(she is 85). Recently found out my mother has a heart murmur and has had a mild stroke and a heart attack within the past year. I go for my biopsy results for the growths in my mouth tomorrow; praying it is not cancer. because if so that will make three of us(my husband, my grandmother, and I) who have it. I hope not. I do not know what the future holds for me family but it does not look good. We do not have nice things and we do not want nice things, but what we have we are in jeopardy of losing it. Because of the medical bills between my mother, my husband, and I we are two months behind on the house mortgage and two months behind on the utilities. Everything is falling apart. I am seeking help from multiple sources and as of right now, NOTHING! I have started a go fund me page and it has been up almost a month and nothing. If it was not for two of my dear old friends the cable would have been shut off sooner and we would have gone without food. Yes, I know churches and food banks offer free food, but my family and I need nutritious foods(not breads, meats, or canned veggies). Fresh vegetables, nuts, and grains is what we need. It is cheaper to eat unhealthy than it is to eat healthy(which makes no sense to me; makes me believe our country is out to kill us).
Well that about sums it up.
AS in my previous post. I am at a loss, as to, what to do now.
I am fearful of what tomorrow holds. I am at a loss, as to, what to do now! That is all I have to say.