okay. So I went and saw the oncologist today. I have a rare form of lymphoma(non-Hodgkin’s, a hybrid of two other types of lymphoma) that usually is found in men who are HIV+:plasmablastic lymphoma. I have always tested negative, but never have had a blood test for it.
The test, to find out what stage it is and where it is, cost over $30,000 alone. That does not include the chemo, EPOCH, that they want to put me on which would consist of being admitted to the hospital for five days , for 21 months, and have it pumped through me daily for that period. I am sure there are possible programs and assistance I could get, but I have seen people such as myself, with my social and economical standing in the system, and it is not good.
It just is more stress to be added on top of enough stress. The waiting, the wandering if I am approved or accepted, the countless personalities(some I am sure are not to pleasant) and the stress of it all, my poor mother and husband and I can not take anymore stress.
I have decided how ever long I have left I am going to rock out with my blazing light of divine joy and love. I have a purpose to fulfill here on this earth. The writing I have produced thus far, the books I am to publish within this year, and the art I am creating as we speak is meant to inspire someone or someone’s down the road. If I am not to complete my task they may not achieve the greatness they are destined for. I am here to inspire, to educate, to prepare, to enlighten, and to bring such joy to the world.
I will do what the divine light has set me forth on this planet to do. So be it.
Found out last week my grandmothers colon cancer is back and it has spread to her stomach and her lungs. She started a new round of chemo, stronger, Monday; the past two days she has been so sick(she is 85). Recently found out my mother has a heart murmur and has had a mild stroke and a heart attack within the past year. I go for my biopsy results for the growths in my mouth tomorrow; praying it is not cancer. because if so that will make three of us(my husband, my grandmother, and I) who have it. I hope not. I do not know what the future holds for me family but it does not look good. We do not have nice things and we do not want nice things, but what we have we are in jeopardy of losing it. Because of the medical bills between my mother, my husband, and I we are two months behind on the house mortgage and two months behind on the utilities. Everything is falling apart. I am seeking help from multiple sources and as of right now, NOTHING! I have started a go fund me page and it has been up almost a month and nothing. If it was not for two of my dear old friends the cable would have been shut off sooner and we would have gone without food. Yes, I know churches and food banks offer free food, but my family and I need nutritious foods(not breads, meats, or canned veggies). Fresh vegetables, nuts, and grains is what we need. It is cheaper to eat unhealthy than it is to eat healthy(which makes no sense to me; makes me believe our country is out to kill us).
Well that about sums it up.
AS in my previous post. I am at a loss, as to, what to do now.
Can not remember if I had published this one before or not, I can not seem to find it any where which leaves me to believe I have not. But I am not 100% certain. 🙂 I hope all my readers are enjoying the journey and appreciate my voice even if you do not agree with, support, or believe my words; but I truly am honored and grateful for you all.
Ne weekly segment will be “Check it Out and Show some Love” which if you notice was “Please Read ad Show some Love.” I have been sharing a lot this few days ,because I am seeking to grow my brand-Diana Jay Crider, Writer, Poet, Performer, Data Entry Specialist.
It has been another wonderful day with my hubby and my mom. So blessed to have the both of them in my life. Oral surgeon consultation tomorrow, $110 just for them to look at my mouth and do a biopsy. Joy! I am hoping that it is not cancer and just my strange body’s way of dealing with the gum disease and infection.
To all my Twitter followers and Facebook friends thank you for your prayers, support, and kind words. Bless You all!
#GNA Good Night All, my you have pleasant dreams and sleep well.
LOVE TO ALL!
Pleasant dreams all you wonderful people out there. May your sleep be undisturbed an peaceful. When you awake, I hope you are able to wake with a smile; no matter your circumstance. Starting the day off smiling makes the day so much more bearable.
Love to all!
My senior was not what I expected. My best friend and I were sharing a room in my parents house. Having sex nearly every day. I got accepted to Georgia Southern University and he was preparing to join the Marine Corps. Towards the end of the summer things got bad. He and I started fighting because he was dating my youth pastor’s sister. What bothered me was he was using her. We fought and fought over this. Eventually lading to my first ever wrestling match. I went off to school an he had to wait until the winter to go to boot camp. He spent that time living with my parents.
My first year in college was amazing, My high school ring was stolen and my roommate was a filthy guy from Massachusetts , rob was the best roommate I could have had. He had no problem with my sexuality. The one thing he and I had in common was David Letterman. The TV was always left on his show as we both would pass out studying. It was during this time that I met my all time best friend, Melanie; still to this day I miss her. Lisa and Melanie where roommates that rob and I had met during some freshman events. Melanie was the Jewish girl with the wildest laughter and the best sense of humor. She loved music, except country, in all its glory.
It was shortly after spring break that my best friend from high school called me to tell me he was back from basic training. He and I had written one another when ever possible. I went home and had decided it was high time to tell him how I really felt. I expressed my love for him and his exact words, “forget about me.” A week later he calls me and ask me to be the best man in his wedding to his high school sweetheart. The same girl he had cheated on with me for three years.
The crazy thing, I accepted and even stood there with my mouth shut out of respect for all parties involved. Looking back I probably should have stood up and voiced my disapproval.
My sophomore year saw me gaining my independence. My Best friend, Melanie and I got a two bedroom apartment right of campus. That times was amazing. She, at the time, was a heavy pot smoker; we, in fact were very much the Odd Couple. I did not smoke tobacco, drink or even do drugs. Did not care for any of it. It was at the end of sophomore that I was accepted into the Walt Disney World College Internship program. Because I was going to be gone for six months Melanie and I decided it best that I move. I got my own apartment that summer before heading to Orlando the fall of my junior year.
My time at Disney was the most amazing experience. I tried pot for the first time while I was there and I got drunk for the first time. I turned 21 years old while I was there; so what better place to celebrate turning 21 than Disney, Orlando.
“Prediction Addiction” by J. C. Crider©2013 AVAILABLE NOW!!!!! *TY TO ALL SUPPORTERS,FANS,AND THE LIKE
Second Poetry Book
“Awakened, Healing, Visions from the Unknown” by J. C. Crider©2013 AVAILABLE NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Third Poetry Book
“Stitches of Poetry: Volume 1” by J.C. Crider©2013 AVAILABLE NOW!!!!!!!!!!
“Stitches of Poetry: Volume 2” By J.C. Crider AVAILABLE NOW!!!!!
So these are all of my self published books of poetry. Everything I have created, except for the covers. But I hope you take the opportunity to purchase one. If you do please feel free to let me know what you think.