okay. So I went and saw the oncologist today. I have a rare form of lymphoma(non-Hodgkin’s, a hybrid of two other types of lymphoma) that usually is found in men who are HIV+:plasmablastic lymphoma. I have always tested negative, but never have had a blood test for it.
The test, to find out what stage it is and where it is, cost over $30,000 alone. That does not include the chemo, EPOCH, that they want to put me on which would consist of being admitted to the hospital for five days , for 21 months, and have it pumped through me daily for that period. I am sure there are possible programs and assistance I could get, but I have seen people such as myself, with my social and economical standing in the system, and it is not good.
It just is more stress to be added on top of enough stress. The waiting, the wandering if I am approved or accepted, the countless personalities(some I am sure are not to pleasant) and the stress of it all, my poor mother and husband and I can not take anymore stress.
I have decided how ever long I have left I am going to rock out with my blazing light of divine joy and love. I have a purpose to fulfill here on this earth. The writing I have produced thus far, the books I am to publish within this year, and the art I am creating as we speak is meant to inspire someone or someone’s down the road. If I am not to complete my task they may not achieve the greatness they are destined for. I am here to inspire, to educate, to prepare, to enlighten, and to bring such joy to the world.
I will do what the divine light has set me forth on this planet to do. So be it.